Wednesday, October 7, 2015

SOMEBODY SHOULD DEFINITELY WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOAP!!

For anyone who was wondering my day started off with a bang this morning..and by bang I mean I was screamed at and repeatedly hit with an empty box of freihofer's chocolate chip cookies. Let me take you to this place...imagine two children getting ready for school who need to have a snack, I say how about you guys take some cookies. So after everyone agrees on cookies i bag up 5 for each kid,at this point jason has noticed that there is now only 2 cookies left which apparently makes him so angry he then throws the 2 cookies on the ground.Now cue the clean up crew a.k.a. layla!!! who proceeds to eat said 2 cookies,which in turn throws jason into meltdown mode complete with coughing and choking and yes he starts hitting me with the empty box. let's fast forward 15 mins later after tantrum is done and he is calmed down so I think because he was sitting quietly watching law and order(his fav show) when out of no where he gets up and grabs his chainsaw chasing layla saying you eat my cookies you motherfucker.he puts down the chainsaw and gets the empty box and begins to hit her. Now he is in time out again...
So kids are off to school,babies arrive,parents are gone,toys are now everywhere,it is time to get caveman dressed.this now becomes another meltdown situation since he wants to wear a muscle shirt in 40 degree weather and this is where I have find out he has learned to put some news words together.....jesus christ motherfucker you suck. "dude are you serious right now?!!!" dead ass he says oh I am so proud. I guess he has better hearing than I thought.my 19 yo daughter is the one who told me that the motherfucker is my fault I really didnt think I said it that much but I guess I was wrong, shame on me I guess I will have to watch that from now on.oh and did I mention he now "smokes"so now he is walking around with a crayon "smoking" and swearing this is just perfect.(sigh)
Oh and there is a baby royal rumble happening in my living room as we speak, my niece has decided she is the boss and controls the toys and the other two babies can only have what she gives them ....she is 1 yo ....watch out mom!!!
jason is gone for the day so no smoking and swearing going on now
baby is still laughing
riley is poking juniors eyes out
and layla is sleeping
and I my friends have lost my mind in the first 2 hours of the day